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  • Vote Up1Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    ..............
    Post edited by banana at 2014-06-08 12:33:40
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • 40 Comments sorted by
  • Vote Up1Vote Down PonygurlPonygurl
    Posts: 2,501
    Hang in there sweetheart. I was looking up Busbey Berkeley and happened upon this- looks familiar xoxo
    U R I E L
    What is done in the dark will always come to light
  • Vote Up1Vote Down PonygurlPonygurl
    Posts: 2,501
    Check ya PM mista..
    U R I E L
    What is done in the dark will always come to light
  • Vote Up1Vote Down iuventusiuventus
    Posts: 5,377
    ¡Sigue adelante!


    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • Vote Up1Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    i'm sorry i'm just going through a lot of major transformations in my life, I think I may be going through a mid-life crisis and I panicked when I first posted then later thought my God TMI TMI TMI ! What the hey, I'll tell you what I'm going through, well, before my back surgery I was in pretty good shape meaning how much I weigh. Well now, since I've had the surgery I cannot do the things I used to do. I cannot lift anything over 15 pounds, I can't twist, turn, bend over, LIKE I USE TO AND NOW I"M GAINING WEIGHT AND I DON'T feel handsome anymore, Plus with all that crap going on I now developed a phobia that I'm scared to have to leave my home, I avoid people because I feel and look ugly. And I know this is not the place to say this but I feel a strange connection to you. I've always been a shy child, well now I'm terrified of people. And I have no friends because I have TRUST issues and it's like, who will it be if I would make a connection you never know whom your gonna get! Will it be fucking Ted Bundy or a true tender saint. When I MUST leave my home and I'm around people I look at such beautiful young men or ladies who are so pretty and the tears come and I just want to gently take their hand and say please will you be my friend? I ask you very clever normal folks, HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS? Face to face friends????? HOW ?! Please give me advice, anything. And then when you do meet, what do you talk about? I feel the world trying to swallow me up.
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • Vote Up1Vote Down PonygurlPonygurl
    Posts: 2,501
    Well like all of us banana, at some point you've been hurt..and now you're depressed. That's all. Nothing new or exciting there. True, real lasting friendships are built. Why or how is only a mystery. I know the basis is care though. To care about someone enough. Simple word, so much meaning. Take this moment for instance...one of my "friends" has not responded to our "Words with Friends" game in 3 days! Ugh, the sheer nerve of that biatch-
    U R I E L
    What is done in the dark will always come to light
  • Vote Up1Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    Aw Banana.....keep posting here. There are some nice people on here ( well I've never met them but it seems so). Join the Family of Frapp! I should have a look at the Mental Health Thread too- a lot of us have revealed our true inner selves in there, and you're certainly not alone. What I do to cheer me up- go for a drive with Head First blaring at full blast, me singing along, and top it off with a nice long ( dog) walk. If mobility is the main issue for you at the moment, maybe you could lose yourself in a hobby. I draw / paint / sew, and I'm also addicted to iPad jigsaws- I do 3 when I get home from work for an immediate unwind. Above all, don't live in the past or dwell on how things once were- focus on the future and getting yourself better. Keep posting and let us know how you are. ((((((Hugs)))))
  • Vote Up0Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    omg i'm crying you are kindness your are kindness i'm starting to see light when I look up from this black pit.
    Please tell me more all of you please I just want to take all of your hands and just feel like we are making it up the hill. I AM MAKING IT I AM MAKING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THAT FUCKING MOMENT CAN LEAVE ME SO EASILY. How do I stop it??? Am I even making sense??????
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • Vote Up1Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,155
    The friends part is really tricky.  Because meeting people and hanging out with people is not the same as making friends and can be a total disaster.  I used to let anyone into my life because I really didn't give a fuck.  I ended up with a whole lot of sorry-ass people hanging around (In that case, you might as well be alone) and only a couple of real stand up people - One Jewel and one real-to-life friend.  So, don't just go befriending any jerk that takes the time to spend with you.  I liked PG's comment, somewhere or other, about positive energy.  It's critical.

    I'm just curious, Banana, are you reading your PMs?  Not intimating that you need to respond, just want to know if you've gotten the messages.  I know I'm not the only one.  If not, then I'll need to repeat one comment for the sake of energy ( ;) ).
    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    Thank you my gentle spirits. Sage level you are. Thank you, for balancing my mental stones. I am half Cherokee Native American and German. The FULL MOON which shall come June 27th which falls back to this upcoming Friday the 13th. Power Day is June 21. THIS FULL MOON WILL BE STRONG.

    Yes I read every PM/Message in detail. I will re-read your sage experiences over and over.

    I analyze words that you choose, I deliberately read a bit slower.

    Listening now to BBC 6 Music re-play.
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • Vote Up0Vote Down iuventusiuventus
    Posts: 5,377
    Not quite sure what you mean by 'falls back,' but the 27th is our new moon--a perfect day for setting tinctures. Full moon is the 12th.
    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    I am sorry for the confusion. But being half Native American in my tribe I am called "Young Bird." To help with the mental issues I take medical pot and that helps with pain and quests. Relaxing me...This is a power month the full moon which will be a very powerful effect on anything that breaths and grows. Plus, we have a very bad Friday the 13th. My only advice to anyone reading this, be very careful on that day.
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,155
    Sounds a bit like Chi, which I'm studying to some extent.  It should be easy to stay safe on the 13th.  It looks like piles of rain here that day.  Interesting about a power month as this is my month and, I must say, it feels pretty powerful this time around.
    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    I had a bad Friday the 13 experience once. Had been away on a short break, during which I had flu, so that was crap for a start. Then when we got home we discovered we d been burgled. Things all over the place, some personal things removed, beer cans from the fridge on the floor. Bad bad bad. Wary of the 13th ever since!
  • Vote Up1Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,155
    Let me know how the cereal works, if you try it....
    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down JeronimoooJeronimooo
    Posts: 955
    Hi Banana,
    I've been thinking about your "how do you make friends"-question. As Whick said, many times "friends" turn out to be no real friends at all. So maybe the question is not how to MAKE friends, but why it is that some people turn out to be friends at the end and others don't. For some mysterious reason people tend to see me as very sociable (is that an English word?), but the truth is much the same as in Wick's case: to me many people are merely acquiantances (again- is that an English word?) rather than friends. The funny thing is that with real friends you do not have to reason about what you should or shouldn't say. Conversations just go as they go and in some cases they can make real friendships by doing that. So do not bother too much asking yourself how to make friends. Just try to meet people (join a reading club if you're not able to practice a sport, or try forums on the internet if you prefer). You will see that friendships tend to pop up unexpectedly and unplanned.
    I wish you all the best, Banana!
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