ADVICE PLEASE

banana · Post edited by banana at 2014-06-08 12:33:40

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Ponygurl

Hang in there sweetheart. I was looking up Busbey Berkeley and happened upon this- looks familiar xoxo

Ponygurl

Check ya PM mista..

iuventus

¡Sigue adelante!

banana

i'm sorry i'm just going through a lot of major transformations in my life, I think I may be going through a mid-life crisis and I panicked when I first posted then later thought my God TMI TMI TMI ! What the hey, I'll tell you what I'm going through, well, before my back surgery I was in pretty good shape meaning how much I weigh. Well now, since I've had the surgery I cannot do the things I used to do. I cannot lift anything over 15 pounds, I can't twist, turn, bend over, LIKE I USE TO AND NOW I"M GAINING WEIGHT AND I DON'T feel handsome anymore, Plus with all that crap going on I now developed a phobia that I'm scared to have to leave my home, I avoid people because I feel and look ugly. And I know this is not the place to say this but I feel a strange connection to you. I've always been a shy child, well now I'm terrified of people. And I have no friends because I have TRUST issues and it's like, who will it be if I would make a connection you never know whom your gonna get! Will it be fucking Ted Bundy or a true tender saint. When I MUST leave my home and I'm around people I look at such beautiful young men or ladies who are so pretty and the tears come and I just want to gently take their hand and say please will you be my friend? I ask you very clever normal folks, HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS? Face to face friends????? HOW ?! Please give me advice, anything. And then when you do meet, what do you talk about? I feel the world trying to swallow me up.

Ponygurl

Well like all of us banana, at some point you've been hurt..and now you're depressed. That's all. Nothing new or exciting there. True, real lasting friendships are built. Why or how is only a mystery. I know the basis is care though. To care about someone enough. Simple word, so much meaning. Take this moment for instance...one of my "friends" has not responded to our "Words with Friends" game in 3 days! Ugh, the sheer nerve of that biatch-

KatRobin

Aw Banana.....keep posting here. There are some nice people on here ( well I've never met them but it seems so). Join the Family of Frapp! I should have a look at the Mental Health Thread too- a lot of us have revealed our true inner selves in there, and you're certainly not alone. What I do to cheer me up- go for a drive with Head First blaring at full blast, me singing along, and top it off with a nice long ( dog) walk. If mobility is the main issue for you at the moment, maybe you could lose yourself in a hobby. I draw / paint / sew, and I'm also addicted to iPad jigsaws- I do 3 when I get home from work for an immediate unwind. Above all, don't live in the past or dwell on how things once were- focus on the future and getting yourself better. Keep posting and let us know how you are. ((((((Hugs)))))

Whickwithy

The friends part is really tricky. Because meeting people and hanging out with people is not the same as making friends and can be a total disaster. I used to let anyone into my life because I really didn't give a fuck. I ended up with a whole lot of sorry-ass people hanging around (In that case, you might as well be alone) and only a couple of real stand up people - One Jewel and one real-to-life friend. So, don't just go befriending any jerk that takes the time to spend with you. I liked PG's comment, somewhere or other, about positive energy. It's critical.

I'm just curious, Banana, are you reading your PMs? Not intimating that you need to respond, just want to know if you've gotten the messages. I know I'm not the only one. If not, then I'll need to repeat one comment for the sake of energy ( ;) ).

Whickwithy

Let me know how the cereal works, if you try it....

banana

There is a lady, who is a member of this board. I was shocked silly when she said she goes to Whole Foods, and I've been there and bought a chilled bottle of white ginger juice. I am working on asking her when it's convenient for her, to someday meet her there over a drink.

The store has a nice place to sit outside or indoors. During the day, I always remember reading when meeting someone, always drive AND leave in your car. Meet in a public place. But I MUST know a certain courtesy protocols, I am from the South I have genteel manners.

But when dealing with a lady, does it offend HER IF I, stand upon greeting, I open her car door, close her door, pulling her chair out. I read, 'somewhere' net or magazine article, that doing those courtesies to ladies offend them,

Something about women's lib. Now I don't know what to believe or do! goddamm it. I need to read sage knowledge advice on this one please!

I already thought of things to talk about! All the sudden, my heart felt a happy a warm wave, as if my heart was frozen and maybe thawing.

my coming here is helping me, when I read your posts I just don't jolt with the eye, I look and read every word slowly

speak to me I am listening AND OH I want you to please be BRUTELY HONEST! please I loath mendacity.

Appy61

Hi Banana - I've been looking at your thread for a few days now and have noticed a lot of improvement. Going to the cinema, looking to meet people, keep it up. This blog is obviously working for you. I'm not sure I could bare my soul in such a huge way! Perhaps these good people are your therapists!

If I can offer a small piece of advice - don't over think things - people will have to accept you for who you are. If you want to stand and hold doors etc then so be it - if they don't like it then they're probably not for you. Trying to be someone your not could make you more miserable. I personally hold doors for both women and men and I consider it good manners and a proper upbringing. As for what to talk about there's enough stuff on this forum to keep you going for years!!

Good luck mate keep up the good work.

banana

omg i'm crying you are kindness your are kindness i'm starting to see light when I look up from this black pit.
Please tell me more all of you please I just want to take all of your hands and just feel like we are making it up the hill. I AM MAKING IT I AM MAKING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THAT FUCKING MOMENT CAN LEAVE ME SO EASILY. How do I stop it??? Am I even making sense??????

banana

Thank you my gentle spirits. Sage level you are. Thank you, for balancing my mental stones. I am half Cherokee Native American and German. The FULL MOON which shall come June 27th which falls back to this upcoming Friday the 13th. Power Day is June 21. THIS FULL MOON WILL BE STRONG.

Yes I read every PM/Message in detail. I will re-read your sage experiences over and over.

I analyze words that you choose, I deliberately read a bit slower.

Listening now to BBC 6 Music re-play.

iuventus

Not quite sure what you mean by 'falls back,' but the 27th is our new moon--a perfect day for setting tinctures. Full moon is the 12th.

banana

I am sorry for the confusion. But being half Native American in my tribe I am called "Young Bird." To help with the mental issues I take medical pot and that helps with pain and quests. Relaxing me...This is a power month the full moon which will be a very powerful effect on anything that breaths and grows. Plus, we have a very bad Friday the 13th. My only advice to anyone reading this, be very careful on that day.

Whickwithy

Sounds a bit like Chi, which I'm studying to some extent. It should be easy to stay safe on the 13th. It looks like piles of rain here that day. Interesting about a power month as this is my month and, I must say, it feels pretty powerful this time around.

Howdy, Stranger!

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