To bounce back / reflect any negativity directed your way. Basic Feng Shui / Wiccan philosophy. Just don’t scorch your curtains and set the house alight.

@kat Thanks! Nummite it is! Each time I go to type nummite, my phone tries to auto-correct to 'bum it's'. (I'm afraid to even think of what a bum stone might look like) and I may try the mirror thing in my bedroom window, that way I can also figure out if the women I date are really vampires. :-?

@iuv hmm, I have some nice aquamarine as it's my birthstone, I'll have to break it out.

@WW I really appreciate your comments WW. Although I'm highly independent, I do need others to lean on. It's just so hard to heal when you're constantly exposed to the human race. You're so right about the bullshit and ruthlessness. It's like sociopathy is awarded in this society. If you knew how most rich jackasses made it to the top, you'd find nothing but backbiting and fraud. .and why is it when someone wants to expose truth, they become a target? So many magnificent men and women assassinated throughout history, by simply revealing truth. It makes me soul-sick.

When I'm alone in nature, my soul begins to heal..but then I have to come back to the world of people. I'm not anti-social, but the selfishness of others around me takes a big toll. I think my soul needs repair where I've given of myself, with no return. Will the parts I gave return? Will the good things I've done come back to me? I hope they do. I think in this lifetime so far, even though I've been through hell..I've learned not to engage that hell. I mean, sometimes it's a struggle to not fight fire with fire..but two wrongs don't make a right.

You know, I think a big part too is learning to love myself. My father told me I was going to burn in hell for being gay, little did he know he was my personal demon. The ones closest to me seem to bring these negative forces I must overcome. It's like they want to steal my joy. My soul is in this constant battle for joy

I know this sounds incredibly naive but I never for one moment thought that women would suck as badly as men do at dating. I'm really surprised because I thought women were more tuned into each other emotionally and as such don't play the manipulative dumbass mind games than men do.

And what kind of father says that to his daughter? His flesh and blood? That's just incomprehensible. You can't help who you love.

I will actually say here that the church really needs to get with the programme even with contraception. I think it's absolutely crazy when the church says to not use contraception. Its the same as pro-life. Ok so I get the principle BUT some women are NOT mentally stable to go through with the birth of the baby or mentally fit enough to give the baby the care that it needs. The pregnancy could have been accidental, or the result of rape.

I know it's never nice to terminate a pregnancy BUT sometimes as hard as it is, it's the best solution. I've come across a few pro-lifers and had this argument over and over.

Well it's the same thing here. Obviously we want the life cycle to continue, reproduction which is where Adam and Eve came into play. But a same sex couple can also contribute- they could have a surrogate mother or other means. Actually its really their choice because its clear to see that reproduction is still going strong with a population as bigger than ever. As long as you practice and show real love, being faithful, and thus giving something back why can't you be with who you love.

It's a Christian concept that does play in my mind. There are actually Christian LGBT groups that claim that the bible recognises that love is love. I'd rather not sit here trying to interpret the bible but find me the quote where it's says you will burn because of the way you feel.

People say it is not in there. Ponygurl I just want you to know you can believe in God and also be at peace with who you are. I think God would put his arms around you as one of his own. x

@kat You summed up everything just perfectly, thankyou. I feel better today, more positive. Sometimes I dwell on all the fucked up things my family and other people have done to me over the years, but all it does is stifle me and brings me down. I'm reliving the pain, PTSD. You're right though, I can't put expectations on others..esp. family. I looked for Nuumite today at a little gem shop. The little German woman there said she didn't have any but was going to a gem show and would pick some up for me. Your rock and gem fetish/fascination sounds like Michael Scott. He was the first president of Apple and pretty much spent his fortune on specimen collecting. I saw a neat little documentary on the private collection.

@serenity You're a sweetheart, thanks. I have a different take on God. First and foremost I don't use the pronoun 'He'. I mean, how utterly asinine and egotistical of the men who transcribed biblical texts to use 'He'?! God is in you and me and everyone. It's simply the energy of love that you choose to give. It's the choice of everyone, free will. I see you've made the right choice Serenity, thankyou for showing it. I needed it xo

I suppose I'm used to people in general who do have different beliefs or viewpoints. The Christian faith has always come under opposition and questioning. I can understand why because there are things in our society which the bible seems to choose not to acknowledge.

But to believe in anything you must have faith. You said somewhere that the universe is a complex place and your right. In my heart I know that we have a creator. As for the bible it has caused so many problems and will continue. The church will continually come under fire for its shady practices (which I'm aware of). Those individuals will face justice for their crimes. But the church still continues. It is there for everyone, for sanctuary, for peace, for meditation and also to simply reflect on ones purpose in life. x

Ponygurl said:

If God is simply the manifestation of love on Earth, you can be that part of God yourself- be like God. Every time something is done with the intention of love in the heart, that brings life..that is God.

I really agree with this statement. I'd like to have that quote printed and displayed somewhere in the house. Or just published. x

Doesn't "burning bush" belong under "ginger minge" in the euphemism thread?