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  • How do you tell someone you think your falling for them and your frightened of rejection? What if yourve not known them long either but just feel something inside you has waited for this for a long time?
    It's more confusing if that person is the same sex and you haven't even admitted to yourself if you are happy in coming out or hiding your true feelings because your scared?
    Life's so complicated but I know how I feel 8-| :| =((
  • Oof! Darling Bells, I do not envy your situation right now.

    There are basically two options to you.

    1, you can throw all caution to the wind and tell this person how you feel and hope for the best (but be prepared for the worst) and no matter how it plays out you will at least always know you were honest with yourself and not beat yourself up with "what could have beens?"...

    2, you can shove it all away. Not say anything. Not come out to yourself (or anyone else) and not have to risk the crushing devistation that is rejection. But, at the same time you will be wasting what precious little time you have on this earth by not going for what you want. By continuing to live a lie, or at least not allowing yourself to explore the possibility of other truths about yourself. And I guarentee you, at some point you WILL kick yourself for not finding out "what could have been?". Who knows, maybe this other person feels exactly about you the way you feel about them!

    Your choice. I'm sure we will all support you in which ever choice you make. Best of luck!

  • Logically (HA!) If you tell them, then no matter what they say, it would be like letting life in, don't you think, in all its messiness - creative, disorientating, crazy, exhilarating, crushing...

    Are you feeling up for that?

    If you don't, then you will be buying yourself more time for self questioning, silent agonising, lengthy ruminations over "What if..."

    It's safer. Does that sound better?

    Polonius in Hamlet says to his son, Laertes:

    "This above all: to thine own self be true,

    And it must follow, as the night the day,

    Thou canst not then be false to any man."

    Laertes then races off the catch the boat to Paris, desperate to get away from his father's long winded and trite speeches.
    So...er...yeah...don't ask me.

     Luck and love, HB

  • To me, it seems like the main point is whether you sense the feeling is being returned.  That's a tough one because it is always difficult to see past one's own desires and delusions to the truth.
  • Think of it this way maybe HB; how many people do we come into contact with in our working as well as social lives, without actively seeking contact and connection. And of all those people, how many people do we feel sufficient connection with to actually make a move towards platonic friendship with? And of them, how many return it? ( you see where I'm coming from, the numbers are dropping considerably!!!). Now narrow it further to those people you might feel a romantic as well as platonic connection with ( keep filtering)... And then how many you come clean about your feelings to....( keep subtracting!).... Then ...wowzers! The chances of that person reciprocating are statistically stacked. However ( here's the crucial bit)...what better proof of kismet, that the universe has manipulated this situation in order for two people, not one, to come together, then all this expenditure of energy?
    my overall view of life these days is ( pardon me swearing), Fuck what everyone else thinks. Be true to how you feel right now, with this person; do not label yourself or let anyone else do it to you; be proud of your emotional maturity and honesty, and go for it. If it's not a reciprocated feeling exactly, then the other person should at least have the good grace to realise that they were honoured to have known your heart and receive your affection. If they don't, then, well, you know!
    Being a Goldfrapp fan, you must know that Alison herself has a similar attitude . No fire ever caught without someone causing the spark. Let us know how you get on!
  • .....oooorrrrr, just simply ask her- Have you ever kissed a girl before? If she says "No", then just say.."Do you want to?" Works like a charm ;)

    -that's really not too romantic, but it works-
    Post edited by Ponygurl at 2015-08-28 15:54:21
    U R I E L
    What is done in the dark will always come to light
  • You gals are lucky, PoGu. It takes two years on average (and lots of patience) to turn a guy.
    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • This is a 2 pipe problem as Holmes would say.
    First, is the other person interested in the same sex. If no, then I would say only heartbreak awaits. Maybe you can work this angle first to ascertain if your interest would be, at least, not rejected out of hand.
    If you discover that the other person is of like mind, then it is the same problem everyone faces when they are attracted to someone else. If this is the case, then fortune favours the brave.
    If the answer to question 1 is yes then
    GO FOR IT !
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Oh thanks guys for all the kind words and encouragement, it's really appreciated about my situation.
    Basically, said person I was aware was gay so no secret there and I was comfortable with that. She now knows my feelings through all my ramblings and trying to express myself properly and so far I'm glad to say all is OK.
    It's strictly between us two (apart from on here LOL) as no way ready for opening up to any further persons.
    It's like a huge weight of my shoulders but I'm soooo very nervous and shy about it all still.
    I feel a right soppy cow at this moment in time :x
  • No, not soppy, a Gladiator ! You entered the arena and you came back out. Remember that Hells. (*)
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • It's the most honest thing I've ever done in my life and proud of myself for confronting something so personal for the first time in my life.
  • Well done, HB.

  • whisperit said:

    Well done, HB.


    Thanks xx
    My head and heart is all over the place still. We'll see what happens now out in the open, well between us to anyway (and this forum LOL) :\">
    Post edited by Hells_Bells at 2015-08-31 06:12:15
  • iuventus said:

    to turn a guy.

    I'm at a loss to find a way to say something that is not very offensive.
  • Ok, told my sister my feelings and she's happy for me whoever I meet in life. Just wants me to be happy etc. She was a little upset I couldn't have talked to her first before one of my friends but shit happens. Told me to stop worrying bout things as more people support me than I realise. So there you have it ;;)

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