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  • Counseling Christmas Carols

    2. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are
    3. Dementia - I think I'll be Home for Christmas
    4. Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
    5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and...
    6. Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

  • Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?

    They used to lie awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.


    (one of my favourite jokes ever)
    A million fires before your harvest comes. To burn out.
    Wear the mask of a heathen. For the moon's lonely eyes.
  • ^ Love it. :) Can I wheel out an oldie, in a similar vein?...
    Did you hear about the overweight, alcoholic transvestite?
    He just wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
  • We're on a roll....

    Had to add both of those to my collection.
    Post edited by Whickwithy at 2013-07-03 08:09:14
  • Cajun jokes

    Clotilde gave her husband, Thibodeaux, a cell phone for Christmas. A few days after
    Christmas Thibodeaux and his friend, Boudreaux, are at the City Bar in
    Abbeville and Thibodeaux's cell phone rang. It was Clotilde. When he
    hung up, he looks at Boudreaux and says, "Mais, how did she know where I
    am?"
    ===================
  • What's green, wise and very exhausting?



    Bikram Yoda! :-&
    A million fires before your harvest comes. To burn out.
    Wear the mask of a heathen. For the moon's lonely eyes.
  • I wasn't sure why my doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation until I saw a Dragon and shat myself
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • Counseling Christmas Carols

    9. Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

  • Cajun Jokes

    Boudreaux and Pierre were walking through the woods one day, when
    Boudreaux grabbed Pierre by the arm pulling him back. Boudreaux says,
    "Whooee, Pierre, look at dat big hole you almost stepped in!" Pierre
    looks down into the hole, and says, "Whooee, Boudreaux, dat sure looks
    like a deep hole. I wonder how deep dat hole goes ?" They find a rock,
    and throw it into the hole, listening to see how long it will take to
    hit the bottom. They don't hear anything. They find a bigger rock and
    repeat the process, but still don't hear it hit. Pierre notices a
    railroad tie lying in the bushes, picks it up and throws it into the
    hole. While they are listening for the railroad tie to hit the bottom,
    a little billy goat comes running out of the bushes, runs right between
    them and jumps into the hole. A few minutes later, their friend,
    Thibodaux comes walking through the bushes. Boudreaux says, "Hey
    Thibodaux, what you doin' way out here in de woods?" Thibodaux answers,
    "Well I'm out here looking for my little billy goat." Pierre says, "You
    want to hear sometin funny, Thibodaux? The strangest ting just happend.
    A little billy goat just came running out dem bushes, and jumped right
    in dat deep hole right dere." Thibodaux says, "Oh dat couldn't have
    been my billy goat. My goat was tied to a railroad tie back in dose bushes!"
  • Top tip for quiet people , get some massive speakers , place them 1.6km from where you want to go , reel out the cable and rig a microphone to the other end and have a wank . People will then hear you coming a mile away .
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • Had an email from Egypt , my mrs said its a scam , I agreed and replied its probably a pyramid scheme
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • image
    image
    Post edited by LuDux at 2013-07-09 16:55:43
    I take the needle off the Technics and put it in my vein
  • So anyway .... this seal walked into a club.
  • I"m not sure which one I like best, Ludux, but I'm leaning towards the one on top.  Altogether, too funny.
  • @ LuDux My Mum was born at Northampton General Hospital. Its a small world. My family to Goldfrapp in one easy step  :)>-

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