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ADVICE PLEASE
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  • Vote Up1Vote Down bananabanana
    Posts: 182
    There is a lady, who is a member of this board. I was shocked silly when she said she goes to Whole Foods, and I've been there and bought a chilled bottle of white ginger juice. I am working on asking her when it's convenient for her, to someday meet her there over a drink.



    The store has a nice place to sit outside or indoors. During the day, I always remember reading when meeting someone, always drive AND leave in your car. Meet in a public place. But I MUST know a certain courtesy protocols, I am from the South I have genteel manners.

    But when dealing with a lady, does it offend HER IF I, stand upon greeting, I open her car door, close her door, pulling her chair out. I read, 'somewhere' net or magazine article, that doing those courtesies to ladies offend them,

    Something about women's lib. Now I don't know what to believe or do! goddamm it. I need to read sage knowledge advice on this one please!

    I already thought of things to talk about! All the sudden, my heart felt a happy a warm wave, as if my heart was frozen and maybe thawing.

    my coming here is helping me, when I read your posts I just don't jolt with the eye, I look and read every word slowly

    speak to me I am listening AND OH I want you to please be BRUTELY HONEST! please I loath mendacity.
    mahogany= my agony
    'the wind...the wind'


  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,675
    KatRobin said:

    I had a bad Friday the 13 experience once. Had been away on a short break, during which I had flu, so that was crap for a start. Then when we got home we discovered we d been burgled. Things all over the place, some personal things removed, beer cans from the fridge on the floor. Bad bad bad. Wary of the 13th ever since!


    Kat. Surely not Tennants Extra Strength or Tramp Juice as it is known (so I am informed by, ehm, rough friends)?
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up1Vote Down Appy61Appy61
    Posts: 638
    Hi Banana - I've been looking at your thread for a few days now and have noticed a lot of improvement. Going to the cinema, looking to meet people, keep it up. This blog is obviously working for you. I'm not sure I could bare my soul in such a huge way! Perhaps these good people are your therapists!

    If I can offer a small piece of advice - don't over think things - people will have to accept you for who you are. If you want to stand and hold doors etc then so be it - if they don't like it then they're probably not for you. Trying to be someone your not could make you more miserable. I personally hold doors for both women and men and I consider it good manners and a proper upbringing. As for what to talk about there's enough stuff on this forum to keep you going for years!!

    Good luck mate keep up the good work.
    What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,155
    Do what suits you, Banana.  If it doesn't suit her, then that tells you something.  I couldn't tolerate a woman that was upset if I opened the door for her.
    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down PonygurlPonygurl
    Posts: 2,501
    Well I actually went to wholefoods for lunch today. Usually I have two flower girls proceed me and sprinkle red rose petals before my path. Once inside I usually head straight for the massage chairs, as the thought of grocery shopping can be exhausting. As I'm getting my massage, one of the girls acquires the items on my list while the other fans me with a palm frond and feeds me grapes. It was a good day. :P

    ^ That was obvious BS, I had soup and a lemonade by myself on the patio. I finished lunch then it started to rain. A beautiful lot attendant asked me if I would like "umbrella service" to my car. She started to open it and I said, "I'll just make a run for it"- so maybe it's a little difficult for me to accept chivalry. I think because usually I'm the chivalrous one, but I definitely wasn't offended. It's actually kinda nice.
    U R I E L
    What is done in the dark will always come to light
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    I agree with Whickwithy, any woman ( or man) who sniffs at common courtesy, old fashioned or not, isn't likely to be a very nice person and certainly isn't likely to return little acts of kindness. But on the other hand, if you do chivalrous things with obvious discomfort of your own, or too much flair, that will look false and creepy. Just be natural and not over the top. I'm v proud that at the Special Needs school where I teach, the kids have lovely manners, they do hold doors for adults, say P and T , and we reward them for it. Respect has to be two way. You sound like a nice guy to me, just relax....don't try too hard.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down A_is_AA_is_A
    Posts: 1,151
    One of the car doors is broken and my girlfriend now has to walk around to the drivers side to open my door and let me out (muttering under her breath each and every time) I'm sure anyone who happens to see this from a distance thinks it's very chivalrous. I think it's hilarious.
    I don't mind opening doors for other people and I certainly don't mind it if they open one for me. I find this common curtesy and thoughtfulness comforting.
    Post edited by A_is_A at 2014-06-11 02:11:38
    LOVE tasted CRITICAL
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,155
    Wow, Kat, your school is my ideal of such.  That needs teaching a lot more than most things.  But, then, I also think that self-discovery is desparately lacking, the most important form of learning, and more desirous than all of the money-making stuff one is perceived to need to survive (there's that darwinian prick, again).
    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    New question needing an answer please!! Anyone live near a chicken hatchery?! We have found our dream home, made and had the offer accepted.....but there s the nagging concern about the chicken hatchery a field away. Doesn't smell to my insensitive hooter. Should we be worried? Any info gratefully received.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    :^o :-& X( :-/ Haven't posted for a day or two and I've missed my little smiley friends
  • Vote Up0Vote Down iuventusiuventus
    Posts: 5,377
    Can you still get out of the deal?

    Oh, I was thinking slaughterhouse. Not sure if it's just a hatchery. Sorry for the scare.
    Post edited by iuventus at 2014-07-15 16:56:08
    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Appy61Appy61
    Posts: 638
    We live down the road from a chicken farm and when the wind is in the right direction.........!!!
    What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down iuventusiuventus
    Posts: 5,377
    I once lived in the vicinity of a hog farm. Same about the wind, but I loved the smell of porcine manure. Don't know about chicken shit though.
    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,675
    Appy61 said:

    We live down the road from a chicken farm and when the wind is in the right direction.........!!!


    But, then again, most of the time it is fine. Is it actually a chicken hatchery? Up the road from us is what is called a broiler house (or two). Here, they receive day old chicks and raise them for about 10 - 12 weeks and then, well, let's not go there... If it is actually a hatchery, then it may not be that bad. My uncle (actually Godfather) runs a large broiler farm in Parson Drove near Wisbech, and has about 10 of these houses and they live on site. I spent many weeks there in Summer holidays as a kid and cannot remember the smell at all. When the houses are in use, I would say little to worry about. It is when said chickens have 'gone' and they muck out that you get the smell. It is very occasional, doesn't last long and only a problem if the wind is in the right direction.
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    Thanks UT for your helpful answer. It's not actually a broiler house, it is a hatchery where they (do whatever they do with ) the eggs ( disinfect them, turn them, keep them at the right temp etc) and as soon as the fluffy little cuties hatch they're whisked away .....to a fate I'd rather not think about either :( . If this sale all goes through we ll have the room for visitors....you can come and visit ye olde ancestral stomping ground!
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