?

Whickwithy

Nookie's a good word. I was going to say 'nookie's good' but sooo many entendres to that.

How about 'hooking up"?

Whickwithy

I know! Let's make up our own phrase!

Whickwithy

Well, I haven't done ten in a row. That's something.

iuventus

Fuck.

Whickwithy

Is that a suggestion for a phrase? It' already in use. Something original was what I had in mind.

I know it's old fashioned but mine is making love. How foolish of me.

Whickwithy

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "How much for a season pass?"

KatRobin

Did anything come of you being “ a bit daring tonight” Serenity!?!! Spill!

serenity52

(Goes extremely red)

Well... (clears throat), I drank a bit too much Prosecco which interfered with rational thought. And my friend nearly got me to buy myself a sex toy.

The key word is nearly although I might do it for real. PMSL!

serenity52

I want to go to a strip club actually. On my 35th birthday or something. Maybe I will do it this year. However I can't promise I won't abide to the 'you can look but not touch policy!

KatRobin

Oh boy, and we all thought you were quiet, modest and god fearing. It’s always the quiet ones.

serenity52

Who said i was quiet and modest? Not I, Mrs Robin.

Whickwithy · Post edited by Whickwithy at 2018-02-18 19:14:23

This is just too funny. Maybe everybody has been thinking they have been voting for funniest guy instead of resident. That would explain sooo much.

Whickwithy

Well, while I"m at it...

A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver's license.

First he had to take an eye test. The clerk showed him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.

"Can you read this? the clerk asked. "Read it," he said, "I know the guy."

Whickwithy

Bear Remover...

A man in rural Oregon wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof...So he looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, there's an ad for "Up North Bear Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes..The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van...

He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit bull...

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks...

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat...When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not let go... The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner...

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner...

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

Whickwithy

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket..

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired a consulting firm to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's zipper.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our willie, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%..

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

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