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  • Vote Up0Vote Down Hells_BellsHells_Bells
    Posts: 1,792
    Every picture tells a story
    image
  • Vote Up0Vote Down cw37frappcw37frapp
    Posts: 3,494
    HA-HA. I am using that one now.
    JAMIE CARRAGHER= LEGEND
  • Vote Up0Vote Down WhickwithyWhickwithy
    Posts: 5,163
    Cajun Jokes

    Boudreaux and Pierre were walking through the woods one day, when
    Boudreaux grabbed Pierre by the arm pulling him back. Boudreaux says,
    "Whooee, Pierre, look at dat big hole you almost stepped in!" Pierre
    looks down into the hole, and says, "Whooee, Boudreaux, dat sure looks
    like a deep hole. I wonder how deep dat hole goes ?" They find a rock,
    and throw it into the hole, listening to see how long it will take to
    hit the bottom. They don't hear anything. They find a bigger rock and
    repeat the process, but still don't hear it hit. Pierre notices a
    railroad tie lying in the bushes, picks it up and throws it into the
    hole. While they are listening for the railroad tie to hit the bottom,
    a little billy goat comes running out of the bushes, runs right between
    them and jumps into the hole. A few minutes later, their friend,
    Thibodaux comes walking through the bushes. Boudreaux says, "Hey
    Thibodaux, what you doin' way out here in de woods?" Thibodaux answers,
    "Well I'm out here looking for my little billy goat." Pierre says, "You
    want to hear sometin funny, Thibodaux? The strangest ting just happend.
    A little billy goat just came running out dem bushes, and jumped right
    in dat deep hole right dere." Thibodaux says, "Oh dat couldn't have
    been my billy goat. My goat was tied to a railroad tie back in dose bushes!"

    The Sentient Struggle For Transformation

    https://www.amazon.com/Sentient-Struggle-Transformation-Whickwithy/dp/1734822147/
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,681
    Suggest you go and get yourself a drink.
    The builders turned up on an empty piece of land next to young 6 year old Sally's house, and begin to set about building a house; clearing the site and setting out to install the foundations.
    Little Sally is fascinated, spending all day at the fence, looking over, watching the men go about their work.
    Soon she starts to chat to the guys, and they, being friendly, start to chat back to her.
    Soon the guys are won over by the friendly, cheerful and inquisitive little girl next door and the have a whip round and get her a pink hard hat, wellingtons, dungarees and a little pink wheel barrow and soon Sally is pottering about the site, picking up stones and bits and pieces in her wheel barrow.
    The men are so taken with her that at the end of the week, they get together and collect some loose change and put it in a pay packet and give it to Sally as payment for all the hard work she has done during the week.
    As pleased as punch, Sally rushes home and shouts out 'Mummy, Mummy, look and see what I got from the builders next door' and brandished her pay packet for her Mummy to see.
    Mummy was really pleased that Sally was acting so grown up and was having such a good time with the workman so she said 'That's lovely Sally. Will you be working on the site next week?'
    Sally thought for a moment and said' Well I really hope to Mummy but it all rather depends on whether those c*nts from Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks on time' !

    For American readers, change that last line to 'those c*nts from Home Depot deliver the fucking lumber on time'
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,681
    A masochist and a sadist meet in a bar.
    The masochist say's "I want you to take me home and hurt me"
    The sadist replies "No".
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down LuDuxLuDux
    Posts: 1,866
    What 's the difference between Great White and Billy Joel?
    I take the needle off the Technics and put it in my vein
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,681
    I saw a newspaper article the other day that said 'Young boy tossed off Cliff'
    How unfortunate, I thought, you never know what dangers lurk in the Shadows !
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down KatRobinKatRobin
    Posts: 2,769
    Watch it UT...the lawyers are in the shadows too! :))
  • Vote Up0Vote Down LuDuxLuDux
    Posts: 1,866
    image
    Post edited by LuDux at 2014-08-28 15:31:24
    I take the needle off the Technics and put it in my vein
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Hells_BellsHells_Bells
    Posts: 1,792
    The man who invented the jug passed away today. Tributes have been pouring in  ;))
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,681
    As told to me by Appy61.
    A Roman walks into a bar and says 'Barkeep, a Martinius please'
    The barman looks puzzled and says 'do you mean a Martini?'
    To which, the Roman replies 'No, if I had wanted a double, I would have ordered one'

    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Appy61Appy61
    Posts: 638
    So intellectual!
    What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down iuventusiuventus
    Posts: 5,377
    Might want to go with Martinus, as the plural of Martinius would likely be Martinii.

    Shush, Appy! I'm just trying to be helpful.
    If I were dead, could I do this?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Appy61Appy61
    Posts: 638
    I did spot that typo but didn't want to say.
    What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
  • Vote Up0Vote Down Urban_TribesmanUrban_Tribesman
    Posts: 5,681
    I wrote what I heard
    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ.
    Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit.
    Shall lure it back to cancal half a line,
    Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
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