In case any one wishes to read the rest of it:

Such a degradation of his holy calling grieves me, and
I cannot but suspect him of ulterior motives.

You inform me that your maiden aunt intends to help you
to entertain the party. I have not, as you know, the
honour of your aunt's acquaintance, yet I think I may
with reason surmise that she will organize games--guessing
games--in which she will ask me to name a river in Asia
beginning with a Z; on my failure to do so she will put
a hot plate down my neck as a forfeit, and the children
will clap their hands. These games, my dear young friend,
involve the use of a more adaptable intellect than mine,
and I cannot consent to be a party to them.

May I say in conclusion that I do not consider a five-cent
pen-wiper from the top branch of a Xmas tree any adequate
compensation for the kind of evening you propose.

   I have the honour
      To subscribe myself,
         Your obedient servant.

Literature Network » Stephen Leacock » Literary Lapses » A Christmas Letter