I have to confess ( to you, not Catherine), I was on my walk this am ( yay! No walking stick!) and a VERY fit young man jogged past me, muscles rippling in his back. I came over quite unnecessary, but ( like those occasional broody moments) it passed....and I hobbled on ha ha!

Pagan! Satanic even!

Taunts? You lend one of us too much importance.

I'm merely having a laugh. Your Satanism schtick is hilarious; I still can't get enough of it.

By the by, I've grown to love tattoos over the years. I'd ink my face if I could.

KatRobin said:

My dad had passed away before I got to the point in my thirties when I was ready to admit to my mum that I was in a same sex relationship. She was amazing, she pointedly told me that she " just want(ed) me to be happy, but don't do any of the affection stuff in front of her" ( that was the most, that was over 10 years ago now. Having seen that particular relationship fail ( that ex cheated on me) and having seen the horrible way I was treated by a later male ex, I'm sure that at the end of her life my mum would have given the world for me to have found the right person, the one who could finally respect and love me the way she felt I deserve. I do believe that any deep thinking loving parent or step-parent or adopting parent or carer would feel the same way.
And sometimes it takes time for them to adjust so it isn't always easy and quick ( don't plan the coming out party straight away!).
Ahh big thanks for the support
Lovers are no different to platonic " friends"- some stab you in the back, some " get a kick when it's all messed up", some are fickle, occasionally some are loyal. As you've said yourself, at least we re a good crowd here, that's why I keep sticking my beak in for a regular chinwag...I don't trust many people I " know" so to speak and don't make friends in the real world easily, but here it's different.
Good luck and happy times wished your way. Just a thought though....I wouldn't change a moment of any of the heartbreaking disastrous moments from my past. They've been acquired like wrinkles and I can ignore them. Live in the moment.

Ahh thanks for the kind words and support mate. My issue is ive known for a long time my feelings but been too scared to admit it especially out loud. I'm worried that I'm 40 this year and all this is happening too late in life for me so don't think I'll ever meet anyone. I've had my feelings and confidence hurt by all this and can't talk to my family about the tears and mood swings because of how I've been treated for something that I have done nothing wrong in!
My sister knows, close friends and some work colleagues as been upset at work.
Finding it hard that I can't talk to my parents about it as I know if I tell them they will go mad as they just don't agree. They don't want me to be upset but I just can't tell them. As to whether they have worked it out and don't want to mention it I don't know. I know my sister won't say anything to them.
So confused about everything.
Never mind, off to Brighton on 17 June to get my gay on to hell with the consequences

KatRobin said:

Uurg...I'm sorry, but you know my opinion of tattoos.

I know! I used to think they were trashy, even though many of my classy friends have at least several. Maybe I was jealous, or maybe I've become too cool in my dotage.

Ponygurl said:

@Hellsbells Just want to let you know, it's never too late to change lanes in an effort to find happiness. People do it all the time. People change careers, their addresses, get divorced, etc..in an effort to find peace and happiness. I have known plenty of women who were married to men and have children, who are now in fulfilling gay relationships. Maybe they were just pleasers, and were brainwashed by a closed-minded patriarchal society into the confines of a hetero relationship. At some point though Bells, your happiness must come first. There's no point in trying to be something you're not, it makes for a miserable existence. I tried men myself and it was like kissing a piece of stone, I felt absolutely nothing. You have to find where your electricity lies. Do what excites you. I know, easier said than done..but it's a step in the right direction at least.

Thanks. I know I definitely am gay and love men but not in the sexual way. I have a lot of male friends who I adore a lot but don't want to sleep with them. I'm old fashioned in the sense of just want to meet a nice lady who will be a partner, friend and soul mate to me. Simple things in life to share as well as love and affection, laughs, chats etc. One day :-*

Have fun in Brighton Hells. We will all be rooting / gunning ( ha ha!) for you. Give us the post-party update and don't do anything that I wouldn't do or more to the point, wouldn't have done once. That leaves little lol.
Just take care! Xxx