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  • Since my fury is having a hard time dissipating, I thought a joke might help.  And, I'm cajun, so no offense intended.

    A Cajun, a Texan, and a New Yorker are waiting for a plane and start a discussion on what is the most amazing technological marvel of the modern era. 

    The New Yorker starts, "I think it's the Airplane.  I mean, look at us.  We are all about to hop on a plane to be on the other side of the world in a few hours!  That's just amazing to me.

    The Texan nods his head and responds: "I think it's the TV.  I can catch news from around the world, as it happens!  That's just amazing!"

    The Cajun gets a very serious look on his face and nods his head and proceeds to baffle (I'll skip most of the Cajun accent.  It might baffle):  "Well, for me, it's dat Thermos jug."

    The other two look at each other and shake their heads.  "Well, what's so marvelous about the Thermos?", the Texan asks.

    "Well, you put someting in it that is cold and it stays cold, right?  And, then, you put something in it that's warm and it stays warm, right?  How it know?"

    Lovely2CU
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  • Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one metre by one metre square on the ground and stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes and exclaims "Newton you're it. Newton smiles and says 'You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square metre - you found Pascal"
    What if the Hokey Cokey is what it's all about?
  • :)) =))



     

    Welcome back @Whickwithy. :)
    Post edited by Alan at 2013-06-29 14:54:33
    Creator of Goldfrapp Jukebox, the most complete Goldfrapp music library on the Internet
  • Thanks.  A little more tempered this time, I hope.

    Lovely2CU
  • Yes, very good. But how does it know?
  • I'm going to sue McDonald's.I ate six Happy Meals today and now I fucking hate myself.
    Post edited by Sartori at 2013-06-29 17:43:31
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • @ Sartori You've reminded me of this:

    “Here's the news: I am going to sue the Brown
    & Williamson Tobacco Company, manufacturers of Pall Mall cigarettes,
    for a billion bucks! Starting when I was only twelve years old, I have
    never chain-smoked anything but unfiltered Pall Malls. And for many
    years now, right on the package, Brown & Williamson have promised to
    kill me. But I am eighty-two. Thanks a lot, you dirty rats. The
    last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful
    people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.”

    ~Kurt Vonnegut
    Turning and turning in the widening gyre...
  • iuventus said:

    ~Kurt Vonnegut



    Hahaha!  Too funny!  And, I can agree on Kurt's choices.

    Lovely2CU
  • image
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • I used to know a couple of good Jewish jokes.

    Will come back when I remember them.
    Creator of Goldfrapp Jukebox, the most complete Goldfrapp music library on the Internet
  •  A man goes to the circus , he gets a front row seat and the show begins , on come on the clowns and the lead clown comes over towards the man and starts to play to the audience "Whats worse than being the front or rear end of an ass? ......"No end of an ass" and the clown points and parps his horn with confetti over the man , the audience erupts with laughter and the man is mortified with embarrassment at the belittling he endured . 
     The next night the man goes back to the circus and gets another front row seat , sure enough the clown leader comes in and goes over to the man again , as the man gets ready to say something the clown takes another horn out and sprays him with water , while the audience is laughing at this he pipes up again "Whats worse than being the front or rear end of an ass? ......"No end of an ass" and the clown parps his horn with confetti over the man again  , and as the first night the audience erupted with laughter . The man can hardly contain his anger over the embarassment and goes home .
     He gets out the Yellow Pages (Google on paper) , scans through it and finds what he was looking for ...the number for Professor Darren Humphries world famous `Grand Master of Comeback Lines and Witty Repartee` , he contacts the Professor and details his woes and he agrees to help him . The next night the Professor goes to the circus dressed in disguise as the man and purchases the same front row ticket as the man , the shows starts and the clown sees who he thought was the man , ripe for humiliation again . The the clown comes up to the Professor , expecting to deliver the same treatment to the man again and starts "Whats worse than being the front or rear end of an ass? at the last syllable the Professor stands up and rips off his disguise , the whole crowd turns and gasps as they recognise the world renowned Professor as the Grand Master of Comeback Lines and Witty Repartee , they hold one universal breath , the clown is agape with shock as the Professor opens his mouth and shouts "Fuck off you red nosed twat" . 


    I love the joke for a few reasons , it makes me laugh , its a good joke to tell when drinking and shouting the punchline but also the secondary point of the joke is that sometimes wit and sensibility take back seat and the best answer is full-on swearing (ahem certain threads) .  

    Post edited by Sartori at 2013-07-02 04:43:16
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • image
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • I`ll get it printed on a t-shirt for Manchester , what could go wrong ?
    "Read my posts and see why we`re not allowed nice things anymore"
    photo 5a6eb769-bc12-4596-bbe8-709fc2bb0d5e.jpg
    "Brought to you straight from the People`s Republic of There`s Something Wrong With You . The Hoi Polloi Capital of the World"
  • Interesting outfit. 

    Lovely2CU
  • Counseling Christmas Carols

    1. Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?


    Lovely2CU

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